So, let's think about what we like to find at a retreat.
Firstly basic comfort.

We have written in places in winter where the heating was - shall we say - a little reluctant. (It's very hard to type in mittens and a duffle coat.You try.) Also where none of the chairs was comfortable, there was no personal space, and no chance of a swift 5 minutes Candy Crush for fear your neighbour would see what you were up to. This would then provoke one of 2 reactions. 'What on earth do you think you're doing, loser?' or 'Gosh are you only on level 435?'




The Myth







                                                                                                    
                                                                       The Reality



We have been to another where there wasn't enough writing room. Think about it. Writers do like to spread out don't they? Picture a room full of them.

The Myth











                                                                        The Reality





Elbows akimbo, empty coffee mugs, paperwork (WIP versions 1, 3, 15, 65, 120 etc.), pens, laptops, full coffee mugs, phones plus chargers, iPads plus chargers, half filled coffee mugs, Kit Kat wrappers, useful notebooks (several), pencils, cake crumbs, spectacles (usually 2 sorts) plus cases. Ok? You need more than a square foot of space on a communal table for that lot.


You also need a decent amount of space to put your head down onto your arms and sob piteously when it all goes wrong.

Ditto banging head on desk when you realise the following;
1)your MC has switched point of view and then back again like some sort of giddy flapper.
2) your Hero has changed his eye colour/ make of car/ trousers mid scene.
3) That you have used the word 'that' approximately 9 million times. ( 9 million and one).
4) Or you have done a word search for words ending in -ly and the computer hard drive has blown up, scattering adverbs onto your bowed head like confetti.
5) You have absolutely no idea what to write next.

So I think we are agreed, the last thing you need to worry about when you are writing is whether there is any Marmite, (You might not like it but we do), how you are going to get the feeling back into your frozen hands or whether you need to get up at 04.30 in order to put your metaphorical towel on your preferred chair.


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